Banning fire?

“Banning fire?” Monterey Herald – Jan. 25, 2023

A quip making the rounds is that the Democrats plan to ban fire. That might sound ludicrous, but that would solve many of their urgent problems. There would be no more smoke from barbecues, stoves, campfires, furnaces, candles, or home fireplaces. Next on the list would be to prohibit wildfires and controlled burns. Think of it, we will no longer require expensive firetrucks, firefighters, or water-dropping aircraft. Our trees and wildlands would be completely safe.

But what about the problem of a hotter climate? We can simply outlaw summer. With the hot months of the year finally gone, the climate would cool down to a nice even temperature.

And while we are at it, let’s get rid of the biggest fire problem in our entire solar system — the sun. Making the fiery sun illegal would solve all of our problems. Why didn’t someone think of this anti-fire solution sooner?

— Lawrence Samuels, Carmel